embodying tenderness: 3 vignettes toward healing (from) misogyny [nsfw?]
september 2014
recently, i had an epiphany about the ways that misogyny, patriarchy and sexism take a toll, not only out there in the wider world, but of course in my relationship with my intimate partner/spouse/wife. i began to work on this piece, and while it is a work in process, i feel very strongly about sharing the culmination of the work. once i allowed tenderness and openness to bubble up in me, i had the idea to write tender words on a photo of her body…
i inscribe words, sentiments, intentions on my love as a threefold healing from our individual and collective gendered trauma: the expectation that she needs to fit into heterosexual norms; my deep discomfort with the cages of masculinity, heteronormativity, and monogamy leading to experiences of bullying and misunderstanding; and, finally, as a small practice, perhaps even a small antidote to the extreme misogyny of date/acquaintance rape scenarios. NO! in this scenario, I imagine partners taking a sharpie and writing words on their friend’s and/or lover’s bodies that evoke caring, compassion, connection.
study with a reclining nude by Falero
grateful that my dear jenny was totally supportive of posting this. so we imagine all of those people embodying tenderness with their partners…